Breakfast haikus

coffee on Sunday
intoxicating smell, with
heavy whipping cream

***

grocery brainwash.
Toasted Oats or Cheerios.
need status symbol.

***

wake up. must wake up.
teapot screams like a banshee.
warm mug between hands.

***

oatmeal is too regular.
who really eats cream of wheat??
profligacy of pancakes!

Haikus about Banjo the Cat.

purring cat in face
roll over. Something thumps on
floor. it's 5 a.m.

***

Ev'ryday something
new. The cat will eat Cheetos.
today's discovery

***

Cat in the morning
Knocks over things in bedroom.
Why do I feed you?

Insect haikus

one bright autumn day,
a ladybug flew into
your head, audibly.

***

killing does not seem
so bad when damn mosquito
whines in ear. can't sleep.

***

trail of ants leading
to girlscout cookies.
Life is so cruel.

Fall haikus

The maple loses
Its red, red leaves: Autumn.
Microbial feast.

***

pulling the stuffing
from the pod, in handfuls fling
milkweed fluff skyward

***

wading through field of
broomsedge, cardinals flush. Seeds
stick to my sweater.

***

one bright autumn day,
a ladybug flew into
your head, audibly.

Not working haikus

I'm so thankful for
The blessing of my buttocks.
They are so useful.

***

she sits and ponders
the methods of constructing
possum sock puppets

***

Pink Post-it note
Taunts me from strategic spot.
Don't want to do it!

***

Procrastination:
Still can't think of a new line.
Minute hand ticks by.

Sleeping (and waking) haikus

Pillow! Oh, how I love thee.
Nothing can beat this
Horizontal position.

***

alarm! snooze... alarm!
snooze... alarm! snooze... alarm! snooze...
alarm! late to work.

***

wake up. must wake up.
teapot screams like a banshee.
warm mug between hands.

(Un)Cleanliness haikus

swish of water and
fake lemon aroma, oh!
i cleaned the toilet!

***

apartment above,
vacuum runs across ceiling
floorboards creak, they creak

***

need to do laundry.
gross drool stain on the pillow.
turn it over. sleep.

***

I have not showered today,
But no worries, mate.
Instant bath: deoderant!

***

down Steep Driveway, i
dragged Heavy Trashcan; breath clouds
puffed in morning air.

Dessert haikus

We'd visit the moon much more
If moon was cookie.
All astronauts would be fat.

***

black walnut ice cream
is definitely the best thing
that i ate all day.

***

chocolate wrapper
feels so good as it crinkles
between my fingers