The Sermon

My Uncle was a preacher, one of the most famous preachers around, because he could preach a sermon about anything at all. Anything. And one day before church, my uncle said to his wife, “Today, I’m going to preach about horse back riding.” And his wife turned to him and said, “You can’t do that, you don’t know nary a thing about it.” And he said, “Well, yes, I can. I can preach about anything. Everyone says that. I’m going to preach a sermon about horse back riding.” And she just shook her head and said, “Well, if you’re going to do that, I’m not coming to church. You don’t know a thing about horse back riding and you’ll just embarrass me. I’m not going to go.” Well, he bristled up and said, “Well, fine, you stay if that’s what you want. I’ve got a sermon to give,” and he left for church. Well, as he was driving to church, my uncle got to thinking about what his wife had said and he thought to himself, “You know, she’s right. I don’t know anything about horse back riding, and if I start talking about it, I’ll just look a fool.” But, since he was on his way to church, he had to decide on a sermon real fast, so he decided to fall back on the sure subject of sinful sexual acts. So, he went on to church and preached his sermon, and just as church was letting out, his wife went to the grocery store. And she saw two of the ladies from the congregation there in the aisle of the grocery store, and one of them said to her, “I sure wish you could’ve been in church today, your husband preached one of the finest sermons I have ever heard.” And she answered, “Well, I don’t know how he did that, he don’t know a thing about it. He’s only tried it twice, once before we were married and once after. And he fell off both times.”

Paraphrased from a story told by Wayne Henderson, 2/16/08